EQ Information & Articles

Are You Worth Your Salt?

First published in the June 2001 issue of Succeed Magazine

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‘No Jobs Available’ is a sign we should put onto our bathroom mirrors to wake ourselves up in the morning. For this is the harsh reality of today’s working world. But, instead of greeting the idea of no salaries with fear and trepidation - embrace it - because the new world of work is our best shot at greater wealth and more personal freedom.

Salaries tell a sorry tale and their story is contained in the word itself. It comes from the ancient Roman tradition of paying soldiers salt (sal) instead of wages. Today, it still holds true that many people continue to slave for a few crumbs off the corporate table. However, bonding people to their salaries is one of the biggest dampeners to the personal drive for success.

Over the years I have found that most people are so dependent on their pay that they would rather prostitute themselves by toeing the company line than fulfil their personal ambitions. Managers know this and many tap their staff’s fear to keep their people in line.

Yet, this form of control is exactly what cripples risk taking, creativity, innovative thinking, accountability, enthusiasm and energy - the very things any business needs to stay competitive.

Fortunately this situation will not carry on for long. During the last few years, in South Africa alone, a million jobs have collapsed. But this is not unique to this country. It’s happening all over the world.

Don’t be mistaken though; the shrinking job market is not necessarily because companies are failing. Even the most successful corporations are getting smaller to meet rapidly changing market demand.

I predict this trend means that about half the world’s working population is likely to ultimately face some form of self-employment. For personal motivation this greater freedom is good news. It’s even better for deriving satisfaction and fulfilment from a working life.

The best example of this I’ve seen was an engineer I met who - at the age of 64 - was retrenched. At the time he didn’t have enough money for his retirement. Having limited options, he started his own business. A few years later he now says retirement is far from his thoughts because he’s never earned more money nor has he ever been happier.

To enjoy life, work needs to be more than toiling for money. I quote Eleanor Roosevelt; find something that you love doing and get others to pay you handsomely for doing it. Then your career will never feel like work again. Don’t believe this is only reserved for a lucky few. Anyone can do it. It requires finding out more about yourself and unravelling your personal beliefs about what it takes to be successful.

A good starting point is to question whether you’re worth your salt today. Susie Orman - author of ‘The Courage to be Rich’ claims that our self-worth dictates our net worth. This translates into the notion that everyone earns - to the last cent - exactly as much money as they believe they deserve. So if more money is what you want, nagging your boss won’t help, but working on your self-esteem will.

Although self-worth is the foundation of success, most people have a misguided idea about it. They believe it means being vain or arrogant. Yet, self-esteem has nothing to do with either. It is simply about accepting yourself - warts and all.

Contrary to popular belief, vain and arrogant people have a low self-esteem. That’s why they spend so much time talking about themselves. But those with healthier self-beliefs are more humble. Their achievements speak volumes on their behalf and they tend to be anything but self-involved.

However, when it comes to success, your level of self-esteem dictates the outcome of everything you do. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you convince other people to? Why should they buy your product, employ you or even enjoy your company for a while? So if you’re not getting what you want, change this by working on your self-esteem.

Our self-image is not written in stone. It was created from years of being programmed with other people’s ideas of who they think we are. But, the tragedy is, we behave accordingly and our world then agrees with this limited view. This is how we get to believe it. Bear in mind though that your current self-image is not the truth about you - or what you’re capable of in future.

To understand more about your own programming write down the views you remember your parents and grandparents held about success. Do a separate column for each person who influenced your upbringing.

Next, think about and write down the greatest fear you have about your future. I have no doubt you will find this fear rooted somewhere in your family programming. If it’s anything but positive it will hold you back. So rid yourself of these negative beliefs by affirming the opposite.

Another problem with a low self-esteem is that it makes us vulnerable to the allure of acquiring more stuff. Advertisers know this. So it’s no coincidence that the lower one’s self-esteem the more you’re likely to spend. However when it’s on credit it becomes a problem.

According to Gill Marcus - Deputy Minister of Finance - South Africans with access to credit tend to live 60% above their means. In reality this says most people are two salary cheques away from the poorhouse. If this is you, living with this threat will generate high levels of fear. Certainly it will dent your confidence when it comes to being more self-reliant in future.

But, living an emotionally intelligent life means learning self-control. Here a robust self-esteem can put paid to all that spending. So, next time you’re craving a little retail therapy, ask yourself what you can do to change your beliefs about not feeling up to scratch.

Self-esteem is based on different things for men and women. Women are particularly vulnerable because a girl’s self-worth is hammered during her rearing. Although this is supposed to be a more progressive age, girls are still brought up emotionally to be good wives and mothers, where giving is more highly valued that achievement. From a young age, this teaches girls their needs are secondary. So to feel good about themsleves women have to keep giving - even if this means giving up or giving in.

Today women start more than 50% of new enterprises globally. Many are therefore experiencing the clash between the role of conventional giving and the requirements for success in business. Achievement demands being appropriately selfish. It’s why trying to fulfil the pull of these opposing roles can make women neurotic or exhausted.

Bearing in mind that ‘good girls’ never make a name for themselves in history, healthy women are now tending to set their own rules about the game they want to be involved in.

Men, on the other hand, have been taught to base their self-image on what they acquire. This is why many males - when approaching midlife - often trade their car and wife in for newer models! However, both women’s giving and men’s acquiring are driven by external factors. Neither forms a healthy basis for one’s self-esteem. Instead we’d do better accepting and valuing who we are outside of these stifling roles.

Therefore it is these shifts in stereotypes coupled with the changes in our working world that are providing far greater freedom for us to really take charge of ourselves. This is the biggest gift of our changing world. It means we can follow our passion and - the strange thing is - for people who do so the money follows. So now that we know our self-worth determines our salary - the real question is: Is the salt you’re currently getting really worthy of you? If it’s not the case, only you can change it.

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Stephanie Vermeulen of The Effective Training Corporation runs practical training programmes on Applied EQ in business and public forums as well as being an inspiring conference speaker and personal coach.

Her books, Stitched-up: Who Fashions Women’s Lives? and EQ: Emotional Intelligence for Everyone are available from all leading bookstores and online from Amazon and Kalahari. She can be contacted on:

Phone: +27 11 486 1211

e-mail: steph@eqsa.co.za

website: www.eqsa.co.za

Article Name: Are You Worth Your Salt?
 

 

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